Burnt Out

Exhausted is an understatement...

At the end of the day I find myself laying on my bed turning on the T.V. and refusing to move. Now I could be reading (I've heard it is good for you), I could be spending more time with family, or I could even post more things on this blog. But all of these things get replaced with sitting and starring at a piece of glass encased in plastic with flashing colors. You may be asking why this happens.

Like many other people I am home for summer vacation from college. Well I don't think you could really call it a vacation... Like many people I come home between semesters. When I am home I have a full time job house painting (It might sound boring and easy, but making a house look good while being in upwards of 80 degree weather is difficult). After being in the sun all day working, I either go to my boss's house to watch the kids, or come home to sit in front of a computer and study a different language. After this I may go see some friends or they might come here. On top of this daily list of things to do I am in the process of trying to plan for next year for a club I am part of. There are also the trips to Long Island to help this. Along with all of this I have been asked to help paint the house of my church's future pastor as well as help plan events for church. And last but not least there is a boat that I want to get fixed and running before I go back to school.

I'm not writing this to have you feel bad for me, to ask if I'm O.K. The reason I am taking time out from running around is because I think we can all relate to this. Whether we have a job and it seems overwhelming, or maybe you have a bunch of things asking for your time, and there is always the possibility that you are idle, spending a lot of time in front of that plastic encased multicolored glass screen. Whatever it is on some level you know that there is something more to living then merely taking breaths. Let me explain...

The company I paint for is one of the best in this area. I am not writing this to make you think I am some amazing painter, I mean come on, it's only my second summer doing it. But I write this because the guys I work with are usually double my age, and have been doing this for as long as I've been living. These men come to work. Nearly all I can think of have some sort of substance abuse problem. After work they go to the beer store, go home and watch that glass screen. In simple terms they are burnt out.

About a month ago I was speaking to a friend who is currently helping to plant a church. He was telling me about earlier in his life. In the part he was speaking of he had just became a believer and was excited to do everything. Simply: He wanted to feed all the hungry, cure AIDs, help every orphan and end modern day slavery... all by lunchtime. As he put it he was "All light, no heat." Part of being a Christian is to help those in need, to be a light in dark places. The problem with doing too many things is that you are doing too many things. Let me rephrase, if you are "all light, no heat," you are like a flashlight in a cold house. You help people to see things that may be wrong but you are unable to truly help them. You may be able to point out a wall ahead, or a dangerous edge, but you have no capacity to make others warm, to help them get up and move. On the other hand, a fire is able to give light to a room while at the same time helping people to get up and cover a sharp edge. By being light and heat you help others by showing possible barriers while also giving them the motivation to break them down.

I know lately I've been "All light, no heat." I've been so concerned with trying to work, help my church, help my friends and be there for my family I've been unable to truly help anyone because the heat I have was being spread across a huge area. One of my main concerns when I am home is trying to show my friends that life is meant to be lived with and thru Christ. To me, this can never be done by just talking. Since a few years ago I have been challenged to have my life illustrate the Gospel. In this way my friends are able to see that my faith is not something which I speak, instead it is my life. Sounds good right? What if I am trying to illustrate the Gospel, but I'm not opening my Bible to gain Spiritual food. From first hand experience I've been getting burnt out, becoming a flashlight which doesn't do anyone much good.

When I had been home from school about a week I emailed another one of my friends who is also currently working on planting this church. I asked him to pray for me in regards to my friends. He emailed me back with a verse, 2 Corinthians 2:15- "For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing."
Ever walked into a bakery right before they close? Everything was baked hours ago but you can still smell the bread. It is like that with believers, wherever we go the very fragrance of God lingers. It is such an amazing thing that we tend to overlook. But when we look to God's Word we see what we were truly meant to be, light and heat.

Today was a crazy long day. I got home and could feel myself being aggravated with everything. Instead of going on facebook or turning on that infamous box, I opened my Bible and just began to read. Three chapters in I could feel myself becoming more peaceful. In line with this whole fire thing, it was like someone threw on a fresh log, and the intensity of the flame grew. It was weird in that awesome kind of way.

Be light, be a fire. Let this light and heat linger as the aroma of Christ. It is impossible for a burnt out fire to give off light and heat, and it is impossible for a burnt out person to truly live for Jesus.

Die with Him, Live for Him.